Religious vocation is a divine call from God. One who responds to it is expected to become Christ-centered, other-oriented, a mystic and a prophet. This is what I have learned during my training to be a member of the Sisters of Cross of Chavanod.

But as I began my religious life, it became apparent that it is not easy to practice all that. The situation in convents often took me away from being Christ-centered and other-oriented. My main concern was to fulfill my responsibilities and adhere to the schedule. Worries about my responsibilities gradually reduced my time for God and others.

However, I am grateful to those who guided me back to the right track where I could spend time in prayer and do something for others by visiting the sick and listening to them.

I am aware that I live in a world where consumerism, technology, mass media, and globalization play the lead role. The market mesmerizes the common man. Mass media keeps him glued to it with its infotainment. What gives me joy is the presence of many consecrated persons who dedicate their lives for others, especially in education, social work, health care. They spend their time and energy looking after the aged, otherwise-abled, and orphans.

I have completed eight years as a religious. During this time, I have noticed that the Church too has becoming power-conscious, ritualistic and institutionalized. The world values lead us religious one way or other. Many of us do not have time for interiorization and relaxation. We do not try to bring changes to help others or uphold values in a society that undergoes changes day by day.

Seeing this situation, a question arises in me: Is my consecrated life worthwhile? It disturbs me to see the consecrated persons fighting for power, prestige and money. Some are too traditional in their way of dressing and life patterns. We are worried about running the institutions rather than helping people in their spiritual growth. As a result many consecrated people miss the inner joy and happiness in living their call in its fullness.

As I look at my life I find that I lacked this when I missed silence, meditation, being with nature, and indulging in certain amount of aloneness with self. But when I maintained them regularly, they helped me in my personal as well as spiritual growth which led me to come closer to God and others. The problems and challenges became the seedbed of my new experiences. They changed my life to see things differently. When I say this, I am reminded of a story which I have heard during my initial formation.

There was a man named Wilfred, who was never happy in his life and always complained to God about many things. One day while he was walking in the garden he saw a big pumpkin lying in a small creeper and then observed a tiny mango on a huge tree. He said why God created this way; he would have put big fruit on a big tree and small fruit on a small creeper. Then he sat down under the mango tree with a gloomy face. Suddenly a mango fell on his head. He realized he was lucky to be alive. He would have been seriously wounded or killed if the pumpkin was on the tree.

Just like Wilfred, we too are confused about certain circumstances in our life journey and complain often. But God has His own plan for each one of us. To know his plan we need to spend time in introspection and meditation. These are sure to help us to live a better and meaningful consecrated life!

[Sr Sanjeeta is a member of the Holy Cross of Chavanod of Calcutta province. She was a student at Loreto College, Kolkata, and now assigned for Baminigam in Odisha.]