Bangalore: When you write from the mind, it touches only the mind. When you preach from the heart, it touches the hearts of readers and listeners. So, I write from the heart.
A senior priest blessed with length of life once told me something that’s embedded in my heart. “You become an effective preacher only after 75.” I understand it this way; unless you carry enough crosses you can’t earn a crown. Intellect won’t impress or influence people more than what the flesh has experienced and shared.
I fall far short of 75 but my work and exposure to priests, religious and lay people in responsible positions got me to grasp, see and experience at least a glimpse of certain realities.
Come March, April, May it’s usually the time of deliberations over elections and new appointments, in both, Religious and Diocesan circles. This is when the atmosphere is rife with mud-slinging, character assassination, poison-pen letters (anonymous letters and emails) self-written goodies under fictitious names, carefully crafted memoranda purporting ‘good of the Church or community’ and a spurt or springing up of ‘welfare’ organizations that often make prejudiced statements contrary to full-truths.
Half truths, we know are worse than lies. Anonymous or signed letters of ‘appreciation’ of priests and religious rarely do the rounds, when they do they tend to grab lesser attention than the nastier ones.
In Yiddish folklore, there’s a story of a man who gossiped many untruths against the character of a Rabbi. Later he confessed “Rabbi, what should I do to make amends?” The Rabbi said “Pick up two pillows, rip it open, throw up the cotton in the air and meet me tomorrow.” After doing that he returned and the Rabbi said “Now, go pick up every bit of cotton and return to me and then you will have made amends for what you have done.”
The hurt caused by slander, gossip and character assassination has not only disturbed the peace of individuals, families, communities and our work-places but even pushed people to the brink of suicide in recent times. In Bangalore (where I have grown-up), in a span of just three years, 12 bubbling youth took their lives in very drastic ways, over untruthful bickering and gossip. The media reported them.
Anonymous letters and emails are a more nefarious form of character assassination than open slander. These ‘poison-pen letters’ are sent directly to the person, to others associated with the person or to people with power and responsibility but with frailty of being influenced and prejudiced.
Anonymous letters or even signed letters may carry some truth, but to delve into them without first weighing or analyzing the credentials, character and motive of the writer is far short of pastoral prudence and can inflict more harm on a wounded or helpless victim, disturb the rhythm of any organization and most dangerously encourage the spread of the disease of ‘anonymous writing.’
Priests and women religious have quit and couples have split over this.
It’s easy to make a mountain of a molehill, but when you are on the top of the mountain of prudence and God-inspired wisdom, you see beyond what is written or said.
More often than not, many faults can be condoned and corrected than condemned, providing for a perfect climate of love and peace that Jesus always envisaged.
A priest of happy memory in a pretty-big religious congregation told me off-the record, during a serious interview, that he was summoned by his provincial who said, “I have been receiving many distasteful letters (signed and anonymous) about you. What have you to say?” The priest curtly answered, “Ever since you took charge, I have also received several anonymous letters about you. What do you have to say?” He told me, the provincial changed the topic immediately.
In a research, British graphologists and psychologists found most anonymous letter writers to be mild or pronounced paranoiacs, disoriented and also suffering from a weak streak linked with dishonesty, low-self-confidence or insufficiency.
Saint Paul understood such human frailty and expressed pain before revisiting the community of believers in Corinth ‘For I am afraid that when I come I may find…that perhaps there will be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slanders, gossip, arrogance among you’ (2 Corinthians 12:20). Jesus told his disciples after a debate with the Pharisees and Jewish elders, on the consumption of ‘unclean foods’ and non-performance of cleansing rituals, ‘From within the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts like coveting envy, slander… and it is this that defiles a person’ (Mark 7:21-23).
Well-known worship leader Tom Rainer did a survey via ‘twitter’ to find how leaders dealt with anonymous letters. Some said they never read an unsigned letter, some quickly destroyed it after reading and ignored the contents or asked their secretary confidants to prevent them from even reaching them.
Surprisingly a sizeable number said they waited upon God to reveal the Truth and spent more time in prayer both for the anonymous writer and the victim as both were in need of solace from God. Less than ten percent of respondents confessed they spent time and energy investigating and lost focus on the rest of the community.
On whichever side of the letter you are, you certainly need help from God.
Adolf Washington is Correspondent with Matters India, a priest of the Archdiocese of Bangalore. He served as President of the India Catholic Press Association.)