At a secret location in Chandigarh, a special meeting is taking place.Women from all over Punjab have travelled to the capital to seek help from Amanjot Kaur Ramoowalia . Amonjot Kaur is the head of a charity- HelpingHapless, run  for women abandoned by their foreign-national husbands.

She sees around 15 abandoned wives a month and estimates there are more than 15,000 women across the state in this situation.

“I see a lot of beautiful, educated women. They are in a mess,” she told the BBC .

Victims are exploited by men who seek a dowry through arranged marriages but then vanish. The women face stigma and discrimination as a result. said Southall Black Sisters -a UK charity that helps women of ethnic minority that are trapped in abusive relationships or at risk of violence and abuse.

Others are subjected to violence, treated as domestic slaves and shunned by their own communities.

Those brave enough to try acquiring a divorce in their home countries are trapped by often complex and lengthy legal processes, while visa entry rules can make legal help impossible for abandoned foreign wives in the UK.

Barrister Radhika Handa, from the Southall group, said the women needed more help. “We want better harmonisation of law so a woman granted a divorce in one country can have it recognised in another,” she added. “Also state agencies should cooperate so that if a woman is denied a right by sending her to another country, she is not stuck in international limbo.” It is believed there are thousands of “outcast women”, many abandoned after dowry demands are not met.

Despite the practice being outlawed since 1961 in India, it is customary there for the bride’s family to give money or gifts to the groom prior to the wedding — with the dowries often amounting to tens of thousands of pounds.

The charity’s director Pragna Patel told BBC1’s Inside Out programme it was a huge problem. “This is not an insignificant number and we’re only beginning to scratch the surface of the problem,” she said. “What we see is a continuum of sexual violence they have been subjected to — physical, sexual, financial, emotional abuse — and the end process is often abandonment.

“A lot of women say that after the marriage, dowry demands continue, and ultimately when they cannot meet the demands they are abandoned.”

One victim, Meena, told the programme: “They marry us, bring us over, then they treat us like a dirty rag they can wipe their feet on.”

Polly Harrar of UK charity the Sharan Project said her organisation is dealing with 300 new cases a year of women from the Punjab who are exploited.

“The impact for women who are abandoned is quite devastating,” she added. “It’s leaving them almost in chains within their society. It is quite devastating because it can affect a woman’s job prospects, it can affect the way the community view  her — and the way they view their families as well.

“If she has children it can affect how these youngsters are seen, how they are raised.

“And if the victims come from very poor environments, from very poor families, then actually what that is doing is adding additional pressure to the family and a sort of additional reputation risk.”

‘I was pregnant when he left me’

One of the women at the secret meeting has travelled from a rural village on the outskirts of Punjab.

Kamaljit Kaur married a man from Italy three years ago. But just months after their wedding, he left her.

She was pregnant with his child at the time.

“Soon after we got married…he started complaining about the dowry. He said my family isn’t happy with you.”

Kamaljit’s husband eventually left the family home and returned to Italy. She hasn’t seen him since.

Their baby daughter was born with serious health problems – but her in-laws refused to help.

“They said the baby is born disabled. We don’t want anything to do with her. Our relations are over.”

Sadly, Kamaljit’s baby died months later. Her husband did not contact her.

Living with the shame

Back under the baking sun of Chandigarh, Amonjot Kaur Ramoowalia is giving advice to dozens of women in this exact situation.

But the assistance she can offer is limited. Whilst abandonment is considered a crime in India, once a foreign national leaves the jurisdiction it’s extremely difficult to prosecute him.

She says some of the stories she hears are utterly appalling.

“One girl got married. He raped her in a systematic way and left her with a child. There’s no strong law you can follow.

“She had to live the rest of her life, with the shame of being an abandoned wife.”

Ms Ramoowalia says other countries should be aware of the actions of their citizens and co-operate with the Indian government in holding them accountable.

In the meantime, the abandoned wives of India face a life in limbo.

 

 

(source: BBC,Evening Standard)