Panaji: The pressure to keep up with the Joneses and splurge on weddings often leaves couples in debt.
A few weeks ago, when a young couple with not such a large bank balance abandoned their dreams of having a wedding reception, requesting instead for a ‘simple nuptial on any convenient day’, a large number of parishioners from St Jude Church, Malad East (Mumbai) pooled their resources and talent to give them a celebration they wouldn’t forget.
The plan was proposed at the parish council meeting and everyone was happy to pitch in. From paying for the bridal party’s guests to baking a cake, sewing the bridal entourage’s clothes and even entertaining guests, the parishioners did it all.
Professor of philosophy at Rachol Seminary Fr Victor Ferrao says there’s a lot to learn from this community wedding. Instead of Church authorities sending an official circular, the proposal could come from parishioners when they see a couple in need, he says.
To bring down the expenses, a common nuptial and reception in front of the Church was held for three unrelated couples in Chinchnim more than a decade ago.
But such weddings are not new to the state. Weddings were traditionally participatory celebrations where neighbours and relatives would pitch in, with the men helping to cut the meat and the women lending a helping hand with the ‘doce’. However, there are fewer examples of such weddings in the state, of late.
“Today everything, including the folk dance during the ‘roce’, is being outsourced and as a result the entire affair has turned costly for everyone, forcing people to take loans,” Ferrao says.
Rather than being made active participants, relatives and friends have been distanced and reduced to mere spectators in the celebration, Ferrao says.
For her wedding, Valerie Monteiro from Panaji made a conscious decision not to blow up hard earned money on unnecessary decorations and expensive cards “that would end up in the bin the next day”. “We kept the crowd small and invited people we knew personally,” she says.
The idea she said was not to burden the family, after all “a marriage is not about the party, but an institution where a couple comes together in the presence of God. Hence, that needs to be the focus, and not the grand parties. It’s about time we (humankind) start living simple modest lives within our means and not try and keep up with our neighbours,” she says.
Treasurer of the Catholic Association of Goa, Jose Carminho Joao from Merces believes the Church should use catechism classes to inculcate habits of simple living. People feel obligated to host parties after Church ceremonies, he says referring to Christening and the first Holy Communion, where celebrations are only getting bigger.
(Source: The Times of India)