By Adolf Washington
Bengaluru: The Archdiocese of Bangalore has launched counseling services to help save marriages in the modern world.
“We have felt the urgency of protecting the sacrament of marriage amid changing social trends that tend to endanger families,” Archbishop Bernard Moras of Bangalore said while opening the counseling center on February 20.
The center will offer counseling services with the help of professionally trained people at the premises of Paalana Bhavan (Pastoral Center) adjacent to the archbishop’s residence in Bengaluru, capital of the southern Indian state of Karnataka.
More than 20 professional counselor took pledge to offer their services on the occasion.
Archbishop Moras said the counseling service comes as “a very quick response” to the decision of the just concluded plenary assembly of the Conference of Catholic Bishops of India (CCBI) at Bhopal that addressed issues confronting families.
Family was also the focus of the Bishops’ Synods Pope Francis convened in 2015 and 2016 at Rome. At both the meetings, the Pope “sufficiently emphasized the need to protect Christian families from disintegration and discord,” Archbishop Moras pointed out.
Archbishop Moras cited an example of how “a very good Catholic couple who frequently involved and supported archdiocesan ventures went into despair when their son working in an IT company fell in love with a Hindu girl. The girl refused to marry in Church and they finally compromised and married in court.”
The 75-year-old prelate expressed deep concern over the increasing number of Catholics who cohabit giving “scant regard to the sanctity of the institution of marriage.”
Even priests, who undergo long years of training, face crisis and seek help of a spiritual director or counselor, prelate said. “How much more then would families need help when in crisis,” he said and quoted the papal exhortation ‘Amoris Latetia’ to stress the importance of “serious preparation of those planning to get married” and the need for follow-up.
The archbishop also voiced alarm at the increasing number of cases diocesan marriage tribunals receive every year. “Sadly, even priests and nuns sometimes hesitate to give church teaching or proper orientation regarding sexual life and life skills in marriage,” he regretted.
The prelate finds the current pre-marriage preparation course lasting two and a half day insufficient to make aspiring couples to address challenges and difficulties of the marriage.
He said he had shared at the bishops’ plenary how his archdiocese introduced a half-day program for ‘to-be in-laws’ in the presence of their children during the marriage preparation course. “We felt it was a move to be transparent so that ‘to-be in-laws’ know what input their children are receiving, as quite often in-laws are also responsible for disruption of marriages. They too need to be correctly oriented in keeping the marriage intact.”
Fr. Aruralraj Gali, secretary of the CCBI Family Commission, applauded Archbishop Moras for his keen interest in providing counseling services for wounded couples. “Two words that catch our attention when we go through the Synodal and Post-Synodal documents on the family are ‘accompaniment and discernment,” the priest explained.
He also noted that although Bangalore has several family counseling service centers, “a dire need was felt to offer counseling services at the archdiocesan level.”
Fr. Arulraj commended archdiocesan vicars general Monsignori C. Francis and S. Jayanathan for persuading and connecting trained and committed counselors to support the counseling services.
Monsignor Jayanathan cited real life examples to call for commitment and seriousness of the marital bond. “If we should compare marriage to a building, it is the foundation, to a tree it is the root and to the body it is the backbone.”
Commending the commitment of counselors, he urged them “to get to the periphery of couples and families while addressing problems.”
Fr. Leo D’souza, Provincial of the Holy Cross Congregation that has taken the lead in organizing the services, said they are glad to serve the archdiocese. “I am sure that in the process of counseling, counselors look into the inner dynamics of marriage and work toward a spiritual orientation in families which is of primary importance,” he added.