By Augustine Singh

Balliguda, Feb 23, 2020: Asmita Digal who became a widow in the anti-Christian persecution of 2008 in Kandhamal district, Odisha, eastern India.

The 33-year-old woman is the youngest of five girls and two sons of late Ram Nayak and mother Mabati Nayak.

Her father died in 2010, two years after the deadly violence. In the following year, her mother suffered paralytic stroke and became bedridden.

Asmita was married to Rajesh Digal of village Bakingia, about 7 km from the Raikia block center.

Rajesh was pulled out from the bus he was traveling and killed in Paburia, on August 26, 2008. He was returning to his village after a meeting of Pastors in Hyderabad, capital of the then undivided Andhra Pradesh.

The miscreants understood that he was a Christian, as they found the Bible in his bag. He was beaten up, put in a pit, and threatened to bury him sand on a riverbank.

The attackers had asked him to renounce the Bible and his faith, but he refused. He chose death than giving up Jesus and the Bible.

Rajesh, who was then 26, and his wife preached the Bible to in Bataguda, 12 km from Balliguda Sub-division center.

They were blessed with two daughters.

Asmita says she came to know about her husband’s death only two days after the killing. “During that time we were in a camp, set up by the government at Church-run Vijay High School, Raikia. But when we went to the spot, we did not find his body anywhere there. They (right-wing Hindu nationalists) might have thrown the body to the river after burning.”

Ashmita said she felt shocked, numb, and was speechless. “Everything became dark. I did not know how my life would be. I was clueless as to what would be the future of my two small kids,” she recalled.

Her current worry is her daughter’s future. The older would appear the school final tenth grade exams this year. The younger one is in fourth grade.

“I worry a lot about my daughters. I am not sure how I would be able to build their career. One is going to do her college studies. The second daughter too requires funds,” she says.

She continues, “While taking care of my children and the house management and other aspects, I miss my husband terribly. I feel lonely.”

She says she and her husband had dreamed of a wonderful life with their children. “If he were alive, my children would have been in better institutions. They would not have been in the boarding. They would have lived with us. Their life would have flourished, under our direct care and guidance. Now it is not possible. I am alone and the workload on me is quite heavy.”

No amount of counselling or soothing words can remove the intense sadness Asmita has in her, although externally she has been quite a smiling person.

“Quite often I remember this fateful event. I feel angry and hatred towards the people who ended the precious life of my husband. Very often I am not able to sleep well. I miss him a lot, especially when I am sick. Most of the time, I feel lonely and remain discouraged,” Asmita expresses.

However, some factors have provided Asmita some hope and energy to move on in life and she remains grateful.

She says, “The monetary support from the government as compensation aided me a lot. My parents and siblings show much understanding. My friends who also lost their husbands during the violence remain closely associated. We can share everything.”

Occasionally the widows come together for prayer and sharing of their experiences and feelings.

Counselling, legal aid and other supports from the Catholic priests are immense.

“They are at our side constantly ever since the dreadful year. There are also other persons, groups and NGOs who have come to our assistance. Due to all this, we are alive with some dignity,” she said.

Today, in the twelfth year of the persecution, Asmita recognizes God’s hand in her life.

She has gathered courage and strength to meet the challenges in life.

She reveals, “I was able to know myself and my inner ability. I have crossed many challenging situations and unspeakable struggles. One thing makes me happy. I purchased a piece of land and built a house on it for my children and me to live in. Life will go on as long as the Lord allows me.”

Today she sews and owns a ready-made garment shop, for her earning to make both ends meet.

The insight she has gained from her trying situation is admirable. “Even though I feel sad, for me and for the people in the area he is alive because of his exemplary life and good deeds. People always remember his good works among them, Christian and Hindu persons as well. This gives me endless joy.”

“I pray for the persons who did this to my husband, I forgive them by the Lord’s love that they may transform their lives. I wish and pray that no one should suffer again the way I have suffered,” she continues.

The 2008 killing of Hindu leader, Swami Laxmananand Saraswati in Kandhamal was used to trigger the widespread arson attacks on Christians.

More than 5,000 houses were destroyed leaving more than 25,000 people displaced in the violence.