By Gabriella Uy
Manila, March 25, 2020: At 33, current self-employed, running a gas and a retailer shop in the Philippines. I am the third among five siblings.
My love life started with a simple ‘hi’ and ‘hello’ on WhatsApp.
My cousin introduced me to a 29-year old Indian guy in September 2017 and he is now my fiancé. He is the eldest of the two siblings. His aunt was the one who brought them up and took all the responsibilities in raising them since he is an orphan. He partly owns a hardware store and lives in Cochin, Kerala, southern India.
I was emotionally fragile at that time because a month ago, my mom had passed away.
Ours was an online long-distance relationship where hours turned to days, days turned to months and months turned to years (two and a half to be exact).
Finally, I saw him face to face when he visited me in the Philippines for 25 days a few months ago.
His stay was sweet as I was able to introduce him to my family and friends who easily embraced him as their extended future family member.
I brought him to some well-known tourist hot spots and let him perceive the aroma and taste of our Filipino food and acquaint him with my religion as well.
We had the chance to talk about the preparation for our wedding. I must admit though I accepted the proposal surprisingly at my sister’s birthday party last October 13, 2019.
I am still in a state of disbelief because there are so many things to consider as we both belong to different faiths, diverse cultures, alienation, and my conversion to Islam, which eventually I will embrace as he and his family firmly asked me to accept and follow. Since he is a Muslim and I am a devout Catholic, it will be a long, deep and sensitive issue to discuss.
So, to overcome the qualms or uncertainties we both decided to have my first trip to India to test the waters so to speak. Visa was granted, passport grasped and backpack ready, I was delighted to see the land of mystery and diversity.
I was engulfed in mixed emotions of fear, anxiety and excitement as I headed for India.
As soon as the plane touched down on February 21 in Cochin, my heart pounded faster than its normal rate. After long hours of waiting, I reached my final destination — Palluruthy, a suburb of Kochi, Kerala’s commercial capital.
Since I was born and raised in Manila, I could not help but notice the diverse sanitation facilities of the area of my fiance. The place is so remote, hardly any street lights.
I found it highly populated.
The family and friends were generally nice and welcoming which made it easier for me to adjust quickly. But as days passed by, I noticed that women have restricted movement and complete freedom is not allowed.
They have strong family ties just like us. The only difference is that the groom’s parents automatically stay with the newlyweds and family (doubling my effort to win the heart of the aunt, who cared for him so well).
Their clothing is colorful and artistic. They are conservative in dressing up, unlike people in Manila — we are fashionable at times and liberated as we adapted the western style.
Food served in Kerala is tangy and spicy. It was simple—just the basic ingredients (turmeric, chili powder and curry powder) which will satisfy your appetite. Mutton, chicken, fruits, vegetables and different desserts are often part of the meal.
Gold is everywhere, obviously worn by women and some men as a symbol symbol. For them, as gold never depreciates it is a good investment too. This is what they told me.
According to the 2011 Census of India figures, 54.73 percent of Kerala’s population are Hindus, 26.56 percent Muslims, 18.38 percent Christians, and the remaining follows other religions or none.
I am lucky because my fiance was so kind to accompany me to different places as well as churches to attend Mass, receive the Holy Communion, join the Christian religious procession and pray. Most Catholics there fervently pray and are involved in church events.
Their culture is so rich, prominent and flourishing and that what it excels most.
They say that our relationship will be faced with so many hurdles. Everything about our bond is unusual and many aspects are beyond our control.
But as long as we both believe in one God and with our morals, values, and ethics intact, together with respect for religious identity, mutual action for common good and reciprocally inspire each other, our love will linger and will conquer all.