By Frida Toppo

Bishnupur, July 31, 2020: The Covid pandemic has affected everyone. All seem to be on the same page, at least in terms of a global health emergency.

Since March 25, India has been under lockdown.

In the beginning I felt relaxed since I had more time for myself. I could do what I liked at home and in the room. Together with other sisters in my convent I enjoyed praying, and preparing delicious food, snacks and pickles, among other activities.

We had time for sharing our cherished experiences, unlike in the prepandemic days when our days were marked with full of busy schedules.

During the lockdown the gardening gladdened my heart. Frequent phone calls from family and friends made me happy.

Now after almost five months, I have begun to feel strange, uneasy and frustrated. Fear grips me when I watch television or read the news regarding the death of numerous people, their difficulties and the pain of the bereaved families and communities because of the pandemic.

The question, “What would happen to me and my people?” keeps worrying me.

Loyola School in Bishnupur, a town In Manipur where I teach. is one of the quarantine centers arranged by the local government.

Living beside the quarantined people on the same campus worries me. It prevents me from approaching even well-known people for any concern. The struggles and difficulties faced by those people in their journey towards the quarantine center make me sad. I am saddened further when I see that they would not approach, touch and speak freely to their dear ones.

“Is God seeing the trauma of His people?” is another question that that comes to my mind at times.

He seems to be watching silently.

I begin to feel lonely and sad remembering with gratitude the past life, the laughter of the students, cherished memories with the colleagues increases the absence of them. We are not sure when things would improve. We hope, it would be sooner than later.

The campus had been always active, busy and noisy with various activities of the school and parish and now for months, it has become calm and quiet.

The life I enjoyed with the children in the school, boarding, parish, visiting the people in villages everything has become a sweet memory.

I had a great plan for future as I was listed for transfer this year. That was shattered suddenly. “Man proposes, God disposes’ seemed true for me.

With the protracted lockdown has changed the situation for one and all. What is ahead is the new reality or some call it ‘new normal.’

I wish the new normal really would mean ‘better normal’ for all in terms of peace, harmony, health, education, social justice, gender balance, equity and equality. We hope the forces that divide peoples and communities with discord, hatred, bigotry and social unrest would become things of the past.

Despite the current grim reality, I see a glimmer of hope.

A few days ago, with one of our sisters, I went to a grocery shop and for marketing, to buy provisions to celebrate a birthday.

When our turn came after hours in the queue nothing was available. I had money in my hand, but returned home empty-handed. I felt frustrated. However, I was not alone, there were many others too equally disappointed.

In another incident, I was asked to submit the closing certificate of the bank balance for the auditing.

As public transport was not available, I had to walk to the office, and stand for hours for my turn for submission. However, no work could be done for four days.

I was disappointed and worried as the due date for submission was already over. On the fifth day, the work was done with much difficulty. Hard times teach us to be more patient.

These little difficulties and painful experiences made me think about the helpless and hopeless vulnerable people going through various difficulties caused by this pandemic. My problems led me to the feet of Jesus and tell him the plight and anguish of people.

The silence chocks me at times. I feel lonely. However, lockdown gives me time to read books, watch value-filled movies and videos, and listen to music.

The lockdown has taught me to become a little more understanding and compassion. Live life meaningfully, filled with love and kindness because yesterday is gone and tomorrow will never be mine. We have to live each day with hope, optimism and grit. Hopefully, we will all overcome the pandemic sooner.

(Sister Frida Toppo is a member of the Missionary Sisters of the Immaculate, popularly known as PIME Sisters, working in the Archdiocese of Imphal, capital of the northeastern Indian state of Manipur).