Mumbai: COVID-19 pandemic came like a thief to steal, to kill, and to destroy lives. I remember the thing that hit me the most was when work from home was announced. The second hit was when churches were shut down.
Being a liturgist and actively involved in the ministry, I started feeling the vacuum of not being able to exercise my responsibilities in the church. I missed my daily singing at weekday Masses and conducting the children’s choir over the weekend. Above all, I missed receiving the physical presence of Jesus in me.
How do I proceed from here?
I had to find my sunshine in everyday things. I began to navigate my way through the lockdown and I experienced a certain peace within me as I found more time to be in the presence of the Lord. I started feeling rejuvenated.
The negative coverage by the media seemed to affect me less and lesser with each passing day. I started spending time with my family more than ever. I had a new refreshing routine in place that started with personal prayer and ended with gratitude.
I saw the book of Ecclesiastes 2:22 coming true where the author says, “For what does a man get for all the toil and striving with which he labors under the sun? Indeed, all his days are filled with grief, and his task is sorrowful; even at night, his mind does not rest.”
Here God was allowing me to enjoy the fruit of my labor and unlimited compulsory rest which I forfeited being on the go. It was time to reflect and prune off what did not matter both mentally and spiritually and make some serious changes. I found time to be able to learn new hymns, start journaling, prepare for sessions for confirmation students and of course pursue my hobbies too.
I was pleasantly surprised when I was invited to sing and proclaim the Word of God for the Konkani Mass on the Feast Day of Our Lady of the Mount on September 13.
It was as though I was pulled out of my comfort zone like Jonah and asked to sing and read in a regional language that would be streamed live the world over. It was a humbling experience of my life as I rose to the occasion and asked God to make it all worth it for His glory.
When certain relaxations were made to the lockdown, I was invited to resume singing for Mass recordings that were being streamed online. I felt like a spring in my step as I looked forward to singing every weekend for Mass and to be able to receive Jesus once again.
It was an indescribable feeling when people told me how nostalgic the singing made them feel and how much they missed coming to church and receiving Jesus. There was also the hope of a better tomorrow once the pandemic was over to come back to CHURCH.
I asked God to pardon me for the many times I took my ministry / receiving Jesus during the Eucharist for granted and got sucked into the routine. It was as though God had given me a new lease of life, a second chance to be able to work in his vineyard for his greater glory. It was suddenly less about me and more about him.
This pandemic helped me realise: 1) I need to have complete dependability on Christ alone; 2) I am blessed with an immense inner strength which can see me through worse times and 3) self-discipline can work wonders.
I came out stronger, better and refined. Finally, I am convinced that I am not merely a Catholic by convention but by CONVICTION.
(Elaine D’Souza is a member of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel’s Parish, Bandra, Mumbai).