We step out the threshold of 2020 and as the New Year dawns on the Pandemic Ocean we survey the horizon dotted with uncertainties – fragile vessels anchored in unsafe waters, tossed about by the waves, rudderless. We consider the swim or sink option to venture out to the New Normal.
As we wake up to the realities, we are filled with a mix of anxiety, concern, fear – and hope. Waves of the vicious virus keep lashing at our doorsteps, forcing us to stay locked in. The end does not seem near, even with the promise of effective vaccines. So, how do we cope with uncertainties?
Counsellors advise us to “go with the flow?” The phrase has more to it than meets the eye. It does not suggest ‘drifting whichever way the currents push us. The flow is not some external pressure. The ‘flow’ is the energy that springs forth from our inner being and drives us to productive action. It is our response to situations, not our reaction to events or surprises. It entails letting our life-force flow smoothly by consciously negotiating the hurdles and curves that come our way so that we make progress in every direction.
The media has reported several problems that have surfaced during lockdown and continue to raise their ugly heads. Depending on our personalities and character, we experience varying levels of frustration when we encounter uncertainties, when there are unexpected twists and turns in the ‘normal’ we are habituated to, when things do not go exactly the way we have planned them, when people – now at close range – suddenly change their attitudes and behaviour towards us. This is where it helps to develop skills that equip us to go with the flow.
Eckhart Tolle, in his book “The Power of Now”, suggests ways to get out of an unhappy situation. There are three choices you can a make: (i) change the situation, (ii) get out of the situation, and (iii) if neither (i) or (ii) are possible, then accept the situation in totality and make peace with yourself. It is no easy proposition.
How can going with the flow help? The ‘flow’ is not something to achieve or create. The ‘flow’ already exists within you. You have to allow it. You have to remove the obstacles that prevent it from exercising its full force. The most obvious obstacles are worrying, bearing grudges against those who offend you, feelings of anger, stewing over your losses, rejections, or frustrations and self-pity. All these are factors that stagnate your energy flow and hinder your ability to be yourself and to get the best out of you.
Sensitivity to the currents of energy flowing through the body is a wonderful way to heighten awareness and to quieten the mind. It effectively brings about a harmony by integrating our feelings of peace and passion. Peace preserves our integrity as a person. Passion or zest fuses the energy and allows it to flow freely.
Lockdowns and social distancing have exacerbated domestic issues. Living and interacting with the same people 24×7, and months on end takes its toll. Perhaps one helpful suggestion would be a reverse of perceptions. It would be good to take a minute off to reflect on how much patience and tolerance it takes for people to adjust to your foibles and fetishes. That should make you more compassionate. No matter how much structure we create in our lives, no matter how many good habits we build, there will always be things that we cannot control – and if we succumb to them, they become unmanageable sources of anger, frustration and stress.
Most often, we forget that ‘others’ are part of the equation when we choose particular actions. Each one steers their own boats and find their own flow, but we must calculate what proportion we will concede to others to add up to the total fulfilment of our tasks That will make it possible for us to negotiate carefully our own boats and prevent crashing with others. If we are careless or inconsiderate, we will drift toward the high seas, with our own lives. in peril.
To stay your course and go with the flow, turn your attention to things that are still in your control. Take care of the little things that you can do. They will lead to bigger enterprises. It is possible to stay relaxed, feel less stress. Lamenting your lacks will only drain you of energy. You can change your circumstances considerably; you can shift your experience; but it takes focus and commitment to do. Row row, row your small, fragile boat gently, but steadily – and hope-fully – across the Pandemic Ocean!
(Jesuit Father Hedwig Lewis is the author of “Living Passionately” and several Other books.)