Unwanted daughter’s travails

Mumbai: After a son and three daughters, I was born to my parents who were staying in Andheri, Mumbai, western Indian state.

My mother was looking forward to another son because she believed that daughters were just a burden and sons would support her in old age. She was not at all happy after my birth and never showed me any love and affection. And to add to it, my father died when I was just five months old, so mom said, “I was bad luck to her and the family.”

I was later told that my elder siblings would look after me and feed me most of the time. Mummy would mostly ignore me. One day my paternal aunt and uncle came to visit us. Seeing the way I was being treated, they asked my mom if they could take me to their house and look after me. I was not even a year old then.

Uncle and aunt who I always have called daddy and mummy looked after me along with their six children. It was one big happy family.

And everything was good until I turned ten. After that, financial problems started coming up. And I was told that they cannot look after me anymore. But then my mom refused to take me back. She did not want to have anything to do with me. By this time she married again and had a new family to take care of. I would just be an extra burden on her.

I had finished fifth grade five by then. I did not want to stop my education, so I went and met my principal and asked her to help me. She sent me to Father Placido in Snehasadan, a home for children in need of care and protection, irrespective of religion or caste. Jesuit Father Ricardo Frances founded it 49 years ago in Mumbai.

After doing a background check, they arranged a sponsor for my school fees. The sponsor not only paid for my fees but also for my books, uniforms. They also gave me a little extra as pocket money.

Whatever I am today, I owe it to Father Placido and Snehasadan because if they had not agreed to help my education, I do not know where I would be today. Father Placido even requested my uncle to let me stay with them untilI grew up.

At the age of 16, I was again at crossroads. Uncle and his family asked me to leave the house one day. Mom said she had no place for me in her house.

I was giving tuition, so had a little saving in the bank. I had also saved some extra money I got from Snehasadan. All this helped me.

For the next two days I kept hunting for a place to stay and at night slept on the building terrace under the water tank.The third day I went to a relative’s lace where I stayed for a few days. I kept moving from one house to another until I started staying with my brother.

But he too did not let me stay for long and I came back to my uncle’s house because I was not able to get a roof over my head. I took up the job of a typist and stenographer in various private firms.

In addition to a full-time job, I took up part-time jobs if I got an offer.

As soon as I was 18, I moved to a working girls’ hostel where I stayed for the next five years. The hostel rule at that time was that we could stay for a maximum of five years.

After I completed five years in the hostel, I went to stay with my brother again. But I was finding it difficult to bear the physical torture that I had to go through at the hands of my brother.

It was then that I met his friend who I later married. I was a Catholic and he was a Hindu.

Luckily for me, both my husband and his family had no problems with me practicing my religion.

But after 12 years of marriage, my husband died in a train accident. All he left me was two kids and a lot of loans.

I was not working when he died. So, I had to find a job, repay the loans as well as look after my young children then. I somehow managed everything on my own as I had no family to back upon.

Since we were staying in a rented house, I had to keep moving every 11 months. We never felt any stability anywhere.

Now it is 21 years since my husband passed away. I have taken up a small house with a loan from a bank.

During these years, my daughter got married. Both my children do not stay with me anymore. I somehow manage to repay my bank loan and manage my life.

Life has never been a bed of roses for me ever. But I am happy I have managed to survive despite all the hardships. I do not know what I will do after my retirement which is just around the corner. But I am sure God has His plans. As He has helped me by sending His angels all these years, I am sure he would continue to bless in the future too.

(Nora Dsouza Meraiis a mother of two and working woman based in Mumbai. She is a self-made person who can face all challenges thrown at her.)