Jesuit Father Ephrem Manikompe: Mentor of self-esteem

By Manna Abraham

Bengaluru, May 29, 2022: Jesuit Father Ephrem Manikompe, a renowned schoolteacher, died May 22, leaving a deep grief in the hearts of hundreds.

After a cardiac arrest on May 19, he had a brief hospitalization. He was 80.

The member of the Kerala Jesuit province will always be remembered for his kindness and simplicity. He served as a teacher and headmaster of St. Joseph’s Higher Secondary School, Thiruvananthapuram, one of the premiere schools in Kerala, for a quarter century starting in the 1970s.

In the 1970s when the education system was still following the patterns of strict discipline and corporal punishments Father Ephrem struck a different note. He followed the Jesuit principle of ‘Cura personalis,’ personal care, of students and colleagues. Every student, their parents, the staff and their families have all experienced the hand of kindness and compassion at some point or the other.

Innumerable stories of his personal influence keep coming in. While one former student wrote, ‘Fr. Ephrem was a noble soul and a mind that wanted to instill values in his students. Thank You Father for reinforcing in me those lessons on integrity, ethics that I learnt at home.’

Another who is in his middle age recalls: “Once I had broken a water pipe as I was playing. Dripping wet and sure of getting caned, I ran into Fr. Ephrem’s room. He stared at me and asked what happened. I explained what had happened and waited for the rebuke, and punishment. Instead, he went behind his desk pulled out a towel, asked me to wipe clean and calmly told me to return to class. I will never forget that act of kindness”

My own association with him goes back to 1990, when I started working as a counselor in (LES) Loyola College, Trivandrum. He was then headmaster of St Joseph’s High School. I was a visiting counselor to this school from 1990 to almost 1995. He was wise, kind, compassionate. I will always remember him as an angel who came in at the worst time in my life, holding my hand and firmly, but gently steering me away from many self-destructive steps I would have made.

Father Ephrem was indeed the forerunner of the student-centered, mentoring type of education. He found time for counselling and mentoring even as a teacher. The growth of St. Joseph’s Higher Secondary School to the level of premier institute can be attributed to him. The school has honored him with an annual ‘Ephrem Memorial National Basket Ball Tournament.’

Perhaps the better part of Father Ephrem’s contribution came after his formal retirement. He did a Master’s program in Pastoral Counselling and moved on to full time professional counselor, trainer and mentor.

Over three decades he mentored thousands of youth, both men and women who have experienced his professional care and are on the way of healthy and happy living.

His contributions were in the field of growth in self-esteem. He organized hundreds of programs on Self-Esteem and the experiences were condensed in his last book, ‘Ok, Not Ok, still Ok- On learning to be one’s own best friend’. (Atmamitra publications 2021).

The book can be summarized in these few lines of Father Ephrem: ‘I have a friend. My heart says “He is ok!” When someone pointed out a weakness in him, I had to say “He is not ok” in that particular area. Yet, I love this friend of mine deeply and so I still see him as “OK”. Hence my attitude to my friend is: ‘He is ok; he is not ok; still, he is ok.’

Towards the end of his life, he became a devout practitioner of Mudra therapy, and other alternate forms of healing.

Reminiscing Father Ephrem’s life, a long-term friend Father Joe Pulickal said that one word defines Ephrem. A friend — For his family, for thousands of his students, counselees and even casual contacts. Another friend of his, Sebastian Arackal, reminisced: “Fr Ephrem transformed many lives through understanding self-love and respect. He made significant impact in our lives. We are OK, Not OK, and Still OK.”

In a world where hatred rules, it is good to remember all hatred begins with self-hatred. What a noble lesson it is, to love oneself deeply leading to the love of the other. Father Ephrem invites everyone to a world of love and care.

He has left behind not only memories but also had cleared a new pathway to emulate his philosophy on life, on unconditional love and a non-judgmental perception.

Adieu dear Father Ephrem, we shall meet on that beautiful shore.

(Manna Abraham is a free-lance counselor and English Language teacher based in Bengaluru and Chennai.)