Psychology of power rape

By Dr Laura Vaz

Mumbai, Feb 12, 2022: Recently the country, especially the Catholic community, was shaken by the news that Bishop Franco Mulakkal of Jalandhar who was accused of raping a nun several times, was acquitted by a trial court in Kottayam, Kerala. Many felt outraged by this verdict and perceived it as a travesty of justice.

Those who were not upset with the verdict raised three main questions: 1) Why did the victim nun keep quiet for two years and ‘allow’ the rape to continue? 2) Why did she appear to have cordial relations with the bishop over the two-year period that he had been raping her? And, 3) Why did she not complain to the Church authorities? Each of these questions discloses erroneous assumptions, and the purpose of this article is to debunk the myths entailed.

Myth # 1

The survivor sister who was raped 13 times over a period of 2 years did not do anything about it. Maybe she was complicit in this whole affair and cried ‘rape’ only when it suited her.

First, let us understand the relationship between the victim sister and the bishop. She was the superior of her congregation and the bishop was in charge. The bishop had control over the working and conduct of the convent in three important ways: Psychological, Spiritual and Financial.

Not just the victim sister, all the nuns in that local congregation were in a state of dependency on the bishop. If they opted to work on a project, they needed his prior approval. If money was required for the project, it was he who could veto or sanction it. The sisters are a congregation of dedicated, sincere, and adult women catering to the poor and needy, but beholden to the bishop, the man who controls their destiny.

This is a form of abject dependence on one person who wields tremendous power, the power to censure or punish, to get a sister transferred, or to sway the higher authorities against them. In short, the bishop was the leader and the nuns looked to him with respect and awe. They obeyed him.

“Power rape” occurs when an individual who occupies a position of power uses it to sexually subjugate the persons under his control. The powerful person is aware that he can get away with his crime. In the corporate world, when a woman reports sexual harassment, she runs the risk not only of losing her job but also of seeing her reputation tarnished. It’s the boss’s word against hers.

In the clerical/religious domain it is the same thing, except it’s worse. The bishop enjoys an exalted status in the ecclesiastical pecking order. A nun who dares to talk about his abuse of power risks sabotaging the continuance of her congregation. If she complains, the rest of the sisters also get punished especially if they back her up. The bishop, with one flourish of his pen, can decide the fate of the entire community of nuns.

People mistakenly assume that the victim nun could just go out and inform the world about what he has done. Or, that she could raise her hand and say, “Enough is enough.” This kind of thinking reveals a lack of understanding of the level of importance and power that a bishop in charge of a local congregation wields.

Myth # 2

Apparently, the nun had cordial relations with the bishop during the two years that he was sexually assaulting her.

What happens when a nun who perceives the bishop as a spiritual head, guide and man of God is one day attacked by him, when there are no witnesses around? Even as he smiles and talks with her, he sexually violates her, doing things that she never expected. Things that she knows are wrong.

She resists, but cannot win. She is stunned, in a state of shock. Maybe she cannot even process what just happened. Hours pass by as she tries to come to grips with what she underwent. She finds herself in a surreal world, too numb to function. A day passes by, a few more.

The victim nun wants to do several things—shout, scream, tell her fellow-sisters. The bishop himself acts as if everything is normal. Whenever he is at the convent, he conducts meetings and other work in a normal fashion. The other sisters do not know that a grievous wrong has been perpetrated. Only the sister who has been raped knows the truth, and she is reeling from the shock.

In the next few days, weeks and months, the victim sister begins to function on auto pilot. She goes through the motions of daily life as if everything is as it should be. But she is not okay. She is confused, at a loss for words, does not know whom to tell, knows that telling can result in immense harm to her convent. Inwardly, she is disturbed. But being on auto pilot, she manages.

The bishop knows she will not speak. He is safe. But what he doesn’t know and doesn’t care about is that she is suffering immense psychological pain within. After the first assault and as the weeks pass by, the victim sister concludes that perhaps the bishop will not repeat that heinous act. Like many of the victims I’ve met in my practice, she is probably hoping that it won’t happen again. She spends time praying to God for solace and protection.

In time to come, the bishop repeats his sexual assault. When there are no witnesses. And with greater confidence. He is the cock of the walk: He knows he can get what he wants, with impunity. He is the perp, she is the victim; he has the confident strut, she has the shame and humiliation. Numbed and utterly defeated, she gradually becomes inured to his visits. She is hurting, but there’s nothing she can do. There is no way out of this situation.

Research in psychology has uncovered a behavioral phenomenon called “learned helplessness.” When repeatedly placed in a painful or unpleasant situation over which a victim has no control and cannot escape, he or she comes to accept it as his or her lot, sees no way out, becomes de-motivated and eventually ends up with feelings of depression.

In experiments on learned helplessness, an animal or human who has not priorly experienced inescapable pain or discomfort just walks away to freedom when presented with a painful stimulus. But those with a history of inescapable hurt continue to passively receive the noxious stimulus, despite the fact that all they have to do is move away from it. Interestingly, learned helplessness also partly explains why many battered wives continue to stay in a harmful marriage, despite earning well and having the wherewithal to leave.

Myth # 3

Why did the victim not first complain to the higher Church authorities? Why did she instead file a suit against the bishop in a court of law?

The victim sister did speak out, first to a friend, then later to others. She appealed to higher Church authorities. She gave written complaints. The truth of the matter is that she was given the run around by the Church authorities. She was sent from one authority another. The Church’s response was what is now seen as a classical and habitual way of dealing with sexual abuse by clerics: Silence.

The wheels of justice are slow indeed, but the wheels of justice from the Church came to a grinding halt. The sister finally realized that the only recourse to justice was the country’s judicial system. With support and encouragement from some friends and lawyers, the nuns of the congregation concluded that justice will prevail because they had the truth on their side.

A slow-moving trial began in a court in Kottayam. The way the case proceeded in court did not augur well for truth and justice. Instead of the perpetrator bishop being on trial, the victim was. Her life and character were questioned. It was implied that she enjoyed consensual sexual relations with the bishop.

Finally, the day of the verdict arrived. And, the rest as we all painfully know, is history.

(Dr Laura Vaz is a Mumbai-based psychotherapist who has been in clinical practice for more than 25 years and has counselled people from different backgrounds, including men and women religious.)